Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Bad Day...

Yesterday morning, my grandfather passed away.

I was going to post about this yesterday, but I was a bit overwhelmed, unable to gather my thoughts.

It did not come as a surprise really. His health had been degrading for the past several months or so, and none of us expected him to last very long. My sister and I even discussed that it would probably be good if he went quickly, so he wouldn't suffer. It's funny how you can speak so practically about someone's death before it comes, but how your emotions kick in once it happens.

I got the call early in the morning, before 7. I missed a call from my mother, and since it was so early, I assumed it was important and got out of bed to call her back. My father answered and told me, "Abuelo died this morning." Before I could really say much he had passed the phone to my mother. We talked briefly, then I hung up and headed back to the bedroom. I looked at my husband, half awake and wondering why I was up on the phone, and I just started to cry. I loved my grandfather, although I wouldn't say we were especially close, so I was a little suprised at my own tears. After a little while, I was better and got ready for work.

At work, my mother called me to tell me that she and my father were driving to Miami for the funeral services, which would be held that evening. It was so soon that they didn't expect any of us to be there. I hung up the phone, and lost it again. I thought about my father. I was overwhelmed by just the thought of losing him, and how terrible it must for him to lose his father. I felt so helpless not being able to be there for him at his father's service. My boss kindly offered to send me home for the day, which I gladly accepted, as I could not seem to get the crying under control and I HATE crying in front of people.

Later that evening I called my grandmother, to say hi, as I didn't really know what else to say. This added a whole new layer of grief, as I thought about how I would be feeling if I had lost my husband. She and my grandfather had been together for many, many years and spent all their time together it seemed.

I cried again over the hamburgers I was cooking for dinner.

Today, my body dealt with the stress my giving me a stomach virus and cramps. But no tears today. I am determined today to not be sad, but instead, think only of happy stories of my grandfather.

Like chicharrones as a cure for the sugar. :)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your blog entry made me cry, AGAIN!
This has definitley been a bad week.

So to all my fellow blog friends, pour a 40 oz for anyone you know that is sick, injured, or maybe just a little down in the dumps, because it helps. It helped me last night, although I did not have a 40oz, but a 1 liter bottle of Minute Maid Fruit Punch.

See you at the Crossroads.

amber said...

Sorry about making you cry - as I know you had extra things to cry about this week.

Hopefully this means next week will be a better one for all of us.

I think there is some non-alcoholic beer in the fridge here at the office,. Perhaps I will pour that before I leave today.

Anonymous said...

Hugs to all the Medina. SO Sorry to hear about Abuelo. I'm especially sad for Omar. Give your parents my love.
Eden

Anonymous said...

Hey Amber, my condolences to all of you. I only met Abuelo a couple of times, and will always remember the first time I met him. I went down with all of your family and everyone slept in the living room - on the chairs, the couches, a mattress on the floor, and the pull out couch.

Anyway, your grandfather was quite a character. On that first visit, he was bragging about his muscles, made me feel his bicep (and seriously, it *was* like a rock), and then he pulled back his arm like he was going to punch me!

He got the desired reaction, of course. I couldn't help flinching, even as I knew he wasn't actually going to punch me. Everyone laughed, of course, and I felt a little silly, but it was funny too.

Anyway, I don't really know what else to say except that I'm sorry. I had a similar experience after my grandfather died, being a little suprised even at my own tears. Not that it's weird to be sad, though, right?

amber said...

Thanks. It isn't weird to be sad, yet somehow my reaction to things like this always seems to surprise me. I don't fully understand why I would be suprised.

I am glad that you had the opportunity to meet him and I am sure he enjoyed spending time with you as well...even if you were yet another gringa to marry into the family :)