Monday, November 14, 2005

You Can't Spell Eyebrow without the OW

I have a question.

How do you tell an aesthetician performing a brow wax that you are not happy with what they are doing? Think before you answer. You are trapped between their body and a chair, and they are armed with a bowl full of hot wax and sharp tweezers, which are already dangerously close to your eye. You are armed with only your charm and wit.

Yeah. That's right. It IS a difficult question.

Saturday, before I decided to go shopping, I went to have my brows "cleaned up", a bit of a necessity considering my Cuban/Italian heritage. (no way to avoid eyebrows ala Bert and Ernie) When I was living in Seattle, I found an aesthetician that I loved. She performed the procedure practically pain-free. I trusted her so much that I even went to her for a bikini wax (not so pain free). Moving to Florida, I had to find someone new. I have tried several since I have been here.

The first person I went to was a little Vietnamese woman who was doing my nails. She was inexpensive and I figured I could kill two birds with one stone by getting my brows done there. The key word there would probably be kill. She was not so pain free. She actually laughed when I flinched. The end result was nice, but I wasn't sure how I felt about someone who seemed to derive pleasure from my obvious discomfort.

The next woman couldn't stop talking about how "it was about time" I got them waxed. Rule number one of providing a salon service for me: Do not give me your "honest opinion" about my appearance. Not unless I ask. Or unless you are a gay man. So that was the end of contestant number 2.

Number three: crazy lady who I also tried in my run of hair stylists. She did a nice job on the brows, but I didn't care for my hair, and she was CRAZY. No matter how nicely shaped my eyebrows may have been, a crazy person cannot be trusted with items that can burn and maim me.

Next up, Russian lady in the pretty little hole in the wall salon down the road: After I insisted that I did not want thin eyebrows, over and over and over, she gave me thin eyebrows. Not a natural look for me.

Which brings me to our most recent candidate. Overpriced salon with a French name. I believe this is an attempt to make you think they are as cool as the French. I often find that it just means that they are as rude as the French are purported to be. I honestly think that the rumor of the French being rude comes from French named salons in America. Anyway, little blond person proceeds to wax my eyebrows. "Ow," I think to myself. Now just because it hurt didn't mean I should stop. Having tiny hairs pulled out of your head shouldn't feel nice. But this hurt a little more than usual. She acknowledged my flinching with the "I know, it doesn't feel good." So I am assuming there is no blood pouring down my face at this point.

Rip. Rip. Rippity rip. Then come the tweezers. There was actually a full-body flinch at this point, she just smiled and paused for a moment, then continued.

"All done." She handed me a mirror to examine. It appears that all of that ripping was only on the lower part of my eyebrow. No clean up had taken place on the upper part. I thought about mentioning this to her, but then the pain I was still experiencing made me think twice. She slapped some lotion on them, which kind of burned on the right side, and sent me over to the counter to pay.

I paid and then gave my eyebrows a closer look in the mirror when I got in my car. They were pretty red, but mine usually are after being waxed. I figured that maybe I had forgotten how much this process hurt.

Fast forward to that evening. Brows still red. Right side is actually a little puffy. These are not normal signs.

Today, a couple of days after the fact, I have visible abrasions on my right brow. Not pretty. And still painful.

So now I am going to battle with Beau Monde and their brow butcheress.


Listening to: Here With Me by Dido
Current Mood: Fierce! (but not really, just took a long bath, so I am far too relaxed for fierceness...) and also, apparently loving alliteration

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So can I ask what's the difference between waxing and plucking and why you would do one or the other or both? If waxing is so painful, why not just tweeze? Or do I have little English brows and so I wouldn't know the magnitude of the problem? (For example, if I had J's brows, I don't really know what I would do with them!)

Anyway, every now and then I try to tweeze mine and I usually end up with weird holes in the middle of my eyebrows, which I suppose explains why people go to salons in the first place.

But am I supposed to wax too?

amber said...

From what I remember, you have pretty little English brows. Tweezing is probably best for the occasional unruly hair in that case(it is a learning process though).

When you have my brows, there is waxing to keep them shaped AND tweezing to get the unruly/stubborn hairs.

Waxing is not so horrible once you do it regularly...and once you find someone who is good at it. Unfortunately, every time I try someone here, it is such a disaster that I don't try again for several months.

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I'm blessed to have a roommate who waxes my brows. I might be English, but I got enough hair to rival any Italian/Latin combo. I agree w/ Amber the waxing cleans up the brows and shapes them but you have to tweeze to get them strays that make you want to look like like an 80 yr old man. I feel for you Amber, you should not have been torn up so bad from the waxing. Thats horrible!!! I too am red after waxing, its that delicate white skin...ha ha

Dee