Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Motivational with a capital OW

This morning I received the following message, sent to a group of people, from a friend in NC:

"ok guys, reading amber's blog has moved me to go back to the gym. i thought i had no time, but the gym opens @ 6:00, so i figured if amber can do it, i can do it. so this morning i went into the gym @ 6:00, and i'm gonna try to keep it up...we'll see..."

Is this possible? In my quest for a flatter stomach, guns, and firm buttocks am I in fact, aiding others?

An old friend from high school has started a similar initiative (Feb 28th entry). It could be totally unrelated, but perhaps if we all unite in our fatty-ness we can bring this country's overwhelming obesity rate down, one tenth of a percent at a time. And then we can be on Oprah and she will give us lots of free things to help us in our quest. Ahhh...its always good to have goals.

This morning's workout went well enough, although I spent more time laughing than exercising. My sister showed up this morning to join me (she had been ill, which is why she hasn't appeared in the past two or so weeks). I managed to get through my 40 minutes without interruption (and yes, Mr. Tarrantino worked out next to me again) and then my sister and I decided to play with the free weights. Lindsey (my sis' name for those of you who haven't had the amazing fortune to meet/know her) proceeded to show me an exercise she saw Jessica Simpson do, and hey, she's hot, so it must be good. I tried that for a little while, grew bored after maybe 5 reps and started doing an assortment of moves that may or may not have done a thing to help me. We realized that when it comes to free weights, we were out of luck without expert help (Clappy where are you when we need you?!) so we moved on to something else. I probably spent a good five minutes watching and laughing as Linds tried to figure out some machine that works the booty (Her: "This doesn't seem very hard." Me: "Perhaps you should put weights on it" Her: "Ohhhhhhhhh") Not that I would have been able to figure it out either.

We did a few more familiar exercises - side bends, inner and outer thigh press, and then I introduced Linds to the machine that is part of my initial steps toward the elimination of, yes, the elusive back fat. The lat pull down. I went first as Linds counted off 10 reps at a time, 3 sets. The extra challenge was trying not to laugh when she pretended to be my trainer.

"1, 2, 3, c'mon let's go, 4, 5, 6, 7, just two more to go....wait...I'M NOT GOOD AT MATH, 9, 10."

Then it was my turn to play trainer. Since Linds was unfamilar with this exercise, at the end of the second set she got up to leave. So I did the trainer yell.

"Don't get up. C'MON. ONE MORE SET. DO IT!"

She did make it through the third set successfully. Since this morning I have received an IM updating me on the newfound pains as a result.

Having a partner to work out with, while distracting at times, is also a great way to forget that you are inflicting pain on yourself at an ungodly hour.

Sidenote: Someone this morning mentioned that they didn't see how I was doing 40 minutes on the elliptical. Don't be discouraged if that seems impossible to you right now. Just a very short time ago, I literally though I was going to pass out/die after being on one of those elliptical/cross trainer machines for three minutes. THREE MINUTES. It takes time to build yourself up to 40 minutes. And it still hurts and is tiring, but I don't feel like I am going to die or fall off of the machine. If you are just starting out - don't give up. I am unfit and a weakling, so if I can manage to get past 3 minutes, so can you. :)

Listening to: Best Imitation of Myself by Ben Folds Five (awesome song)
Current Mood: Happy to be working from home today


lindzy82 said...

For those of you laughing at my attempts to look like Jessica Simpson I must inform you that it is all a part of my plan to become one amazing blend of each member of the shockingly famous Simpson family. First I had to conquer the father, because it was with his sweat, tears, and sperm that he was able to create two so amazingly not talented but completely marketable young girls. Besides being younger sister Ashlee's manager, he is widely known for his devout christian faith. So I figured, judging by what he lets his daughters wear and sing about, and the fact that they don't seem to go to church, I pretty much got him beat. I'm pretty sure I can recite more bible verses than good ol Joe.
Then there is the mother..who I have yet to find her talent. Unless being over 40 and dressing like you are as young as your young hip daughters. I have yet to master the "sexy over 40 mom" look, since I am neither over 40 or a mom. So I may have to wait a few decades to conquer her, unless some other talent becomes apparent at some point.

Then there is good old Ashlee. She's so punk. The inner punk in me especially identifies with the lyrics from her totally punk song "La La"
"You can meet me on an aero-plane Or in the back of the bus
You can throw me like a boomerang I'll come back and beat you up"
I hear that Ash. So I've had to master singing when you have no talent. So I have been practicing lip syncing and hoe downing in my room with my amp to her album. I totally think I am ready for my own stint on SNL.

So last but not least I have to master the art of Jessica. Let me tell you this has not been easy. First I had to take vocal lessons and learn how to sing with my mouth so wide open that it looked as though I was preparing to shove a Cantalope in my mouth. After learning how to dislocate my jaw, the first task was completed.
Next was extensive training on how not to do housework, accompanied with a visit to the Bumble Bee tuna company where I asked tuna testers that Chicken of the Sea was indeed Chicken and not Tuna.
After some lasik eye surgery, and few stops at my local Louis Vuitton store, and oh yes, creating my own line of eatable body desserts I realized it was time to get myself to the gym. So hopefully in 6 months time I will have to exact same body structure as Miss Jessica and be Daisy Dukes ready.

MTV reality show here I come.

Anonymous said...

ooooh how I have missed the witty entries of the Medina sisters...soon to be an unknown name seeing how Linds is getting married off. I loved the remark about good ole God fearing Joe & what he lets his girls wear. Still laughing...

P.S. Amber, lemme know if the back fat exercises work.